Human beings are social beings who need compassion, love, care and respect from the people around them. As a social being people make friends with people with whom they share the same ideas and who are in a common field as they are. They could be work mates, students or even people who live in the same neighborhood.
The people who you interact with are supposed to have some characteristics which you. Their behavior is very important to determine the kind of relationship both of you would bond to form.
Generally, a good friend is supposed to portray good moral standards, should respect you as a friend, love you and be able to stand up for you even when you are in the wrong. A good friend should be able to tell you what is right and wrong because a good friend is one that wants your life to be better.
If someone is your friend, it should not be hard to treat the person with respect. In most cases bad friends are easier to find than good friends because like they say “good things are hard to find”. In the case of friendship, it is sadly true too.
How To Know If You Have A Bad Friend
You will know that somebody is not a good friend if his or her level of jealousy and insecurity outweighs his/her love for you. Bad friends are always concerned with their own issues and not yours. They look out for opportunities to benefit themselves and never think about sharing the secrets of their success, but always want to share the one you have, thereby, taking advantage of your friendship and love for them.
The best way to evaluate your friend and get to know them better is by asking yourself this question:
How do my friends make me feel? If any of your friends make you feel used, then something has to be done about that relationship. Your friends should make a positive impact in your life; they are supposed to leave you feeling happy and inspired. They are the people who are supposed to make you enjoy life, have fun and help you deal with challenges of life.
Where a friend makes you feel like less of a human being, stresses you constantly and unnecessarily, or exhausts you then this relationship is not worth it and should be terminated. The challenge is not really how to identify bad friends but how to get rid of bad friends.
The best way to go about this:
1. Don’t cut them off immediately
Doing this will create bad memories. It will make you seem like the “bad guy”. There will be bad talk about you, especially if the person is talkative. He will appear the victim and you will probably be ostracized and called a bad person. Also, trying to fix such people always ends in chaos and causes more problems. If you truly want the relationship terminated, don’t look back at all.
2. Become less available to them
Talk as though all is well, but slowly, consciously and subtly make them aware that you are now in different “time zones” for some reason and they will slowly drift away. It is advisable to detach yourself emotionally; these will make you stronger. Continue loosing contact and spend less time with them.
3. Do not lie to yourself or to them.
Be vague to them but truthful to yourself. This is to avoid feelings of guilt. Whenever you feel guilty, remind yourself why you NEED to do it.
If you find that your friend is truly hurting and unhappy that you are keeping away from them, then, that friend loves you and you need to go back to where you used to be with them. When someone loves you, they will not hurt you intentionally, so it is possible you might have been reading the signals wrongly.
They just might be selfish without being bad friends. Being selfish is a human trait which is present in a lot of people in different measures. Talk to your friend and make them understand the effect their character is having on your relationship.
Relationships are important, take care of yours or let go when it burns.