Oh Marriage! Is The Titanic Sinking?

Marriage ConflictEver been bitten by the bug – the love bug? A young man or woman gets through life like a Cadillac on the freeway until it gets to a particular stage, a certain day – nature’s perfect timing -and then, the bug strikes.

Next thing you know, a young man or woman begins to look out for the most “marryable” friend they have. They begin to think differently, plan differently and before long, the bells begin to jingle –  all the way.

Now enters the wedding planner, the food and flowers and the D-day. Then, BAM! It’s all over and reality sets in.

As a girl, you have to begin to cook and clean for someone else. You have to ensure meals are ready on time and someone other than yourself has clean shirts and underwear at all times.

As a man, you have to learn to make decisions after considering how they would affect your family. You cannot decide to hang out all night, because, someone other than the television set is at  home, waiting for you to return, to have dinner sometimes before she does, and most times before she sleeps.

Marriage is work! However, it can be fun-work most of the time with a little co-operation and consideration. The warm, mushy feelings disappear on some really windy days and what is left is a conscious effort to do right by the one you chose.

Sometimes, you have to look inwards for that feeling, that mushy warm no-sense feeling you had on the day of your wedding, the day you decided, “I will say yes if he asks” or “I want to marry this girl”. Sometimes, unfortunately, people can bury those feelings under pressures of life. I have heard that at this stage, all hope is not lost. I have heard, the ashes can smoulder and blaze into a strong and steady flame once again.

Sadly, many people give up too soon.

Too many divorce cases shamelessly grace the courtrooms and case sheets these days. What happened to patience, a little love, a little holding on some more? Whatever happened to the Titanic type of love? The Jacks and Roses of the earth are dwindling each passing day. Soon, maybe too soon, all we will have are stories, stories of true love and love’s conquests time past. Just like epic novels tell stories of great loves between Lady and stable boy, Count and shepherd’s daughter, Princesses and tramps. Too soon, real, true and enduring love that can wait, hope and trust might be all gone; all gone!

A woman getting married to a man because of the size of his pocket might end up getting all that and sometimes, just that.It is wise to get married to someone for a little more than that.

Also, getting married to someone because of good looks or tut-tut is not good either. Looks fade in a short while – something more will endure more.

So, if you get bitten by the bug, make sure, you take your time and find the Right One whom your heart will beat for, of course, for years to come. The One for whom you would not mind waiting up a little, cooking, cleaning, washing dirty underwears, juggling schedules and loving past wrinkles, no-teeth and senility.

Marriage is so much more than laying side by side every night, a full pocket and all that. It is about finding someone that you can grow old with. Someone whose toothless grin you still would love; someone who would sag everywhere but still be the beat of your heart.

One can never tell where exactly you might find such a One, but I hear, there is a One for everyone. Good luck searching, and if you have found your One, stay true, stay patient and never lose sight of the fact that love is like a phoenix; it rises from ashes and soars once again through the sky.

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